Feminism, Marriage and Xbox

My apologies to the many good men I know. You're totally marriage material!

[T]here’s a strong case that both sexes would be better off if working-class women demanded more of the men in their lives and working-class men demanded more of themselves

That’s from Ross Douthat’s blog post on marriage.  He’s talking about Matt Yglesias’ response to Charles Murray (frequent subject of Paull et All!) who argued that, in a nutshell, marriage rates and male workforce participation have declined since 1960 and that’s a terrible thing.

Those two trends are probably not a good thing. But Yglesias point out that we’re not all idiots (thanks!): women are remaining single and men are dropping out of the workforce because it makes economic sense to do so.  Since it’s easier to enjoy a leisurely life than it was in 1960, why yolk oneself to a partner-in-breadwinning if sisters are doin’ the breadwinning for themselves.  And why get a full-time job when, if you’re demographically situated, men can do just fine with a semi-decent part-time job and an Xbox.

Some things—college tuition, apartments in Manhattan, health care—have gotten more expensive much faster than average. This means that people who buy a below-average amount of those things are better off than the statistics show. A healthy person living in an unfashionable city with no student loans to pay off can get by on a fairly modest income.

Consider the contrast: As it becomes harder and harder to find a full-time job with benefits, opportunities for advancement, and stability, men are altogether dropping out of the workforce or opting for more part-time opportunities.  And at the same time, women are earning enough money that they choose to support not only themselves, but also their children, without a partner.  Douthat cleanly summarizes our attractive short-term incentives:

[T]he understandable female desire to have children without taking on the burden of husbands who are often basically children themselves, and the understandable male desire not to take a steady but low-paying job when they can work part-time, goof off on the XBox, and still find willing sexual partners

Five points for the women’s equality movement…in a two steps forward one step back kind of way. Because even though it now more feasible and worthwhile to do the opposite, it’s difficult to argue that there aren’t structural, non-immediate benefits to getting married, getting a job, and raising kids with two parents.

It’s admittedly difficult to get a good full-time job right now, especially without a college degree. But male labor force participation rates have been declining since the 50s. Men are not just not finding jobs; they’re increasingly choosing to not look for jobs.  And if the marriage market were the parallel to the job market, women are pretty much doing the same thing.   The solution, then, is to realign incentives from the ground up:

If men want to tempt women back into marriage, [men] will have to use more of their free time to pitch in with housework and child care, building a more egalitarian tomorrow. If employers want to tempt people back into working, they’ll have to offer higher pay or more pleasant jobs.


I love Nicki Freaking Minaj: An Ode.

This girl is off her rocker.  Crazy.  Cray-zay.  But tell me she is not the best thing to hit hip hop since Kanye.  TELL ME.

I can see why you might be hesitating.  You’re thinking she’s just another female MC (because we have too many of those?).  She spits lewd, eff’d up, incomprehensible, offensive lyrics. She perpetuates the rap world’s blatant and incurable misogyny, she uses her (bi)sexuality as a trope to lure male fans.

But you’d be wrong.

Well, mostly wrong.  She’s full of contradictions, but relatively speaking, far less than most chart-toppers in all genres and really, they don’t out weigh the goods.

And the girl got goods!!

Where, on the surface, her sexuality and WILD persona are just attention-getting schemes, her lyrics tell a different story.  So she’s sexual and… weird.  But she’s also in charge.  She’s choosing it and owning her choices. And she loves her beauty, which is miles from our Euro-centric ideal (“she’s on a diet but her pockets eating cheese cake…pink wig thick ass give em whiplash”).  April Gregory at Racialicious:

Everything she does is of her own volition, and she is not submissive to patriarchy. Rather, Nicki takes patriarchal notions of femininity and womanhood, reclaims them, and makes them work for her.

If that isn’t the definitely of a feminist I don’t know what it.

“You Could Be the King But Watch the Queen Conquer”

And she goes toe-to-toe, peer-to-peer with the boys.  Kanye, Jay-Z, Will.I.Am, Drake, Lil Wayne.  She’s not just singing background, she’s got equal weight of the verses with these guys.  From MTV’s My Time Now documentary:

“I don’t have anything else to fall back on. […] I’ve been told forever that you’re not gonna sell. No one’s gonna get you. Don’t sound too smart. You can only be a part of a crew. And I just know there are so many women who get told these things every day. I used to think this was all about me. But I’m not doing this for me, I’m doing it for them.”

By “them”, she means the girls that make up her relatively young fan base. As she’s risen, she’s taken herself as role model seriously:

all the girls will come in, as long as they understand
that i’m fighting for the girls, that never thought they could win
cause before they could begin you told’em it was the end
but I am here to reverse the curse that they live in
(“I’m the Best”)

She’s relevant, she’s on 7 tracks in the Hot 100 at once, and she’s a bad-ass role model, all at the same time. MMMM.

And her verses ohmygod.  Her rhythm, staccato, variety — she’s got at least five distinct personalities — are impressive.  And they’re all on her verse in Kanye’s song Monster.  I could go on, but writing does no justice to listening.  GO!

Of course she’s still rapping about money, exploits, cars, women, men, all the above.  But she’s doing it a.) well, b.) because she wants to and c.) on many continuums: weird,  beauty, sexuality.  FULL PACKAGE!!

I’m all up all up all up in the bank with the funny face
and if I’m fake I ain’t notice cause my money ain’t